The first Barbeque party was a very innocent idea. I was in a new city and at a new job. Just out of college I knew nobody in the city and all I really wanted to do was find somebody whom I could call a friend. I started out by calling a few people from work. It turned out to be good fun. The problem is that slowly the group that I invited began polarizing and eventually it fragmented into smaller groups. Now I invite only one of those sub groups.

The book "Tipping point" by Malcolm Gladwell talks about connectors. Connectors as the book suggests are people who play the role of connecting people. They bring people together no matter what the setting. It is through them that groups of people interact with each other and remain connected. Without them the group would be a fragmented force. But with an active "connector" they form a very strong cohesive bond. With this kind of a person begins a tipping point of any great idea.

Before my experiences with entertaining, I always thought that the act of inviting and entertaining people was the hard part. But truly the hard part is not that, but the ability to form the cohesive force in a group. To be able to facilitate as the "connector" is the true art. The reason for this is that the connector has to disregard the small things that are unlikable about a person and simply build the "connection". The connector has to also bring together the disparity between different sub groups that people tend to gravitate towards in a larger group and bring them all together.

We all like to invite and entertain, but really what we are all trying to become are connectors. Alas only a few of us will actually get there.


Anonymous said…
well said frank. Some persons also have the uncanny ability to socialize with just about anyone. These groups of people often travel a lot and often take the risk of moveing to a totally new place to live for a few years and experience life in the new city. their friendly nature and open mindedness quickly endears them to people and by the time they are ready to leave on their next adventure they have made several close friends who will remain their friends for life. It is quite amazing!

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